The Opening of Pandora’s Box: The 21st Century Version

By Richard Thayer

In classic Greek mythology, Pandora was the first woman on earth. The Greek gods, who were much more active back then than they are today, gave her many gifts, including beauty, music, persuasion and curiosity. It was that last gift that turned out to be a curse. For everybody. For all time.

As the story goes, Pandora was given a box which she wasn’t to open under any circumstances. This was given to her by the gods, the same group who gifted/cursed her with curiosity. Go figure. At any rate, Pandora, being curious, opened the box. Surprise! Guess what was inside? Evil. When she opened the box, the evil inside rushed out into the world and all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t …. No, wait. that’s a different fairy tale.

Anyway, Pandora, try as she might, couldn’t get the lid closed until all of the evil inside had gotten out. That’s why today, according to the Greeks of yore, we live in such a wicked, perverse world. Blame it all on Pandora.

Now, if you will, come with me to the recent past. During the course of our last presidential election a presidential hopeful by the name of John McCain opened up what would become (in my estimation) the 21st century’s equivalent of Pandora’s Box. We’ll call it John McCain’s Box.

John McCain opened up his box and unleashed upon the world……Sarah Palin! Why he did it, is anyone’s guess. Curiosity? You have to remember, this is the same man who also unleashed upon an unsuspecting world, Joe the Plumber. Fortunately, however, Joe has receded back into anonymity.

At the time of his selection, Sarah Palin was the governor of Alaska. She was mostly unheard of in the rest of the world. The only people she was annoying at the time were the people of Alaska. But they had elected her, so they deserved it. As for the rest of us, we were still reeling from nearly eight years of George W. “Mission Accomplished” Bush.

Since the American public had chosen to re-elect “W” (although under questionable circumstances), Senator McCain evidently figured we were fairly stupid and so he up and picks this unknown governor from Alaska as his running mate. And, up to a point, McCain is right. Many in his party welcomed her with open arms. She was the greatest thing to come along since….. Well, she was the greatest thing to ever come along. Period.

And, as in the story of Pandora’s box, the world hasn’t been the same since.

Now there is speculation that Alaska’s half-governor, may be preparing to run for president in 2012. The news media is all aflutter over the possibility. On the front page of the New York Times in bold print: “Signs Grow That Palin May Run.” Politico gushes that rumors concerning her running are on the rise (rumors fueled by the news media). Turn on TV news and you’ll see Sarah decked out in black leather riding a Harley or munching on pizza in Times Square with presidential candidate has-been, Donald Trump.

Recently on Fox Noise Ms. Palin said that she has “fire in the belly” concerning a run at the White House.

All I can say is all of this commotion over her “possibly” running for president is causing me to have “fire in my belly” and I’m thinking about a run for the outhouse.

Let me go on record as saying this: Sarah Palin is about as serious about running for president as she was about serving a full term as the governor of Alaska. Ms. Palin is making far more money as a Fox Noise contributor and a speaker at Tea Party events than she would as president of the United States. She’s in the news right now for the publicity, nothing more. She’s out there in the lime light just so she keep the fires burning in the fevered fantasies of her base and to irritate the rest of us.

As for me, the irritating factor aside, I don’t care if she runs or not. Those who should care are members of the Republican Party. When people like Sarah Palin and Donald Trump get more attention than the party’s “serious” candidates, then you’ve got a major problem on your hands.

To my Republican friends I say this: You guys opened the box. Good luck on getting it closed again.


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